InsaneJournal

[fanfic] FMA, Queer
[Fanfic] Title: Queer
Author: annabeth_fics, Lily
Pairing: Elricest
Genre: angst
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: lemon, yaoi, angst, dubcon, language, incest
word count: 1200
Notes: I am so bad at replying to comments; I always do it many days later. I apologise in advance, and thank you to everyone who commented on my drabbles, I really appreciate it!
Summary: Edward Elric wasn’t queer.



Queer

Edward didn’t know exactly why he did it. It wasn’t because he was attracted to Alphonse. After all, what kind of sick freak is attracted to his own brother? And he wasn’t queer, either. So it was a total surprise to them both when he leaned over the breakfast table one day and kissed his brother. On the mouth.

Al had seemed surprised, but not averse; Edward would have expected as much. He idolised his older brother, after all. So he wasn’t sure at all why he did it. He was certain that Al didn’t harbour any unusual feelings for Edward, but there wasn’t even time to be afraid of rejection. One moment they were talking over tea and the next his tongue was in Al’s mouth, tasting the tea the way his brother liked it, with honey. Edward didn’t care for honey, and he didn’t like it any more when it was flavoured by Al’s mouth.

Alphonse didn’t push him away, he didn’t even close his uniquely coloured eyes. He just sat there, and let Edward kiss him, until Ed got ahold of himself and drew back. He returned to his tea -- only sugar, no honey and definitely no milk -- and neither of them said a word about the kiss. Ed picked up the newspaper and began to read, and Al went out the back door with a slam, presumably to garden. He had discovered a love for gardening that rivalled his love for cats.

That night, Ed spent many hours thinking back on that kiss, and the way it felt to have your tongue in your brother’s mouth, and the funny way it tasted just like your own, only with flavours you’d never put in your own mouth. He rolled over onto his side, trying to keep his eyes closed until he fell asleep, but they just kept popping open.

Which was how he found himself in Al’s room, gazing down at his brother, who didn’t seem to be suffering from any distressing thoughts; he was sound asleep. His hair, darker than Edward’s, was tied back in a ponytail, and his thumb was hovering just around his chin; it was a habit that Al had not broken before he lost his body, and it appeared that he had yet to break it still.

Edward climbed slowly into bed with his little brother, feeling the way it gave under his considerable weight -- a consequence of the automail -- and settled himself around Al, with his human arm thrown over Al’s side. Alphonse wore a sleeveless t-shirt, and who knew what else, under the covers; Edward leaned forward and kissed his shoulder. Once again, he couldn’t say why he did it. In truth, he had no defence. It was something magnetic, an action he didn’t think about, something he just did.

Alphonse exhaled softly, and moved under his arm, and then he rolled over onto his back.

“Brother?” he said into the darkness. Edward said nothing; what was there to say? Sorry I kissed you, go back to sleep, and by the way, don’t think I’m a nasty pervert? “It’s very late,” Al said, apparently taking note of the absolute darkness outside. In the room, there was only the tiniest glow of light from the hallway.

There was really no excuse for any of it, but especially not for what he did next. He sat up and climbed over his brother’s body, one leg on either side, and knelt on the bed. Bending down he touched his lips to Al’s like he had done that morning, and once more had the disconcerting sensation of exploring his own mouth, but with a slightly different texture. Again, he watched Al, and his brother kept his eyes fixed on his.

It was madness; the taste of Al’s mouth, the feeling of his slender muscled body between his legs, the way Edward cupped his palm over Al’s groin and squeezed gently. In his head, the fact that they shared the same mother, the same father, the same blood kept running around in endless circles. But still, he kissed Al, and felt his brother’s cock stir sleepily under his palm. Edward himself didn’t even have an erection. It was simply madness.

It could have been the darkness and the way it played with Al’s face, or it could have been the way the light in the hall shadowed his skin; whatever the reason, Edward used his other hand, the automail one, very carefully on himself. He rubbed until he had a hard-on, then let go of Al’s cock, and pressed their groins together. The sensation was at once sharp and nearly painful. It was different from when he touched himself, and therefore better, even though his mind was filled with sohotsowrong, even though his mouth was filled with Al’s tongue; even though his little brother didn’t seem exactly willing, he wasn’t pulling away, either.

There weren’t any words to what they did, like when Edward let his brother breathe again and touched their bodies together, or like when he transmuted the blankets and clothes away and lifted his brother’s body up to his mouth and sucked along the hole of his ass. It was complete and utter madness, to be using his brother this way. And neither of them made the slightest sound, and the darkness muffled everything, from the way Al’s thighs quivered to the way Ed’s tongue darted inside his body.

Edward didn’t know exactly why he did it. He wasn’t queer, and he didn’t think Al was particularly beautiful, except in the sense that the body was one he’d transmuted. So he didn’t know why he lubed his own cock and forced it into Al’s body, and he didn’t ask any questions, like: Does it hurt, Al? Am I going too fast? Do you want me to stop? and Al never said a single word. One word and Edward would have stopped everything and gone back to his room, and maybe never looked his little brother in the eye again. But Al said nothing.

Edward knew why he didn’t come. It was too other, to come inside his brother’s body, the one that he had created. Almost like he was Al’s father. Edward knew why Al did come, and it was because he ran his tongue along the underside of his shaft until he was trembling, because he sucked his little brother’s cock until Al couldn’t hold back anymore. Edward didn’t know why he did it, but he knew that he would never forget it.

That night was never the same again. He never touched Al that way during the day, and they never spoke about the nights. No one ever knew that Edward Elric had fucked his little brother that night, and no one knew if he ever did it again, or if he did it every night.

It began with a kiss, but it would be innaccurate to say it ended that way. Edward never came inside his brother’s body. And Al never spoke about that night, and whether he felt violated, or angry, or just confused. But he never stopped telling Edward he loved him, every single night.

end.